A day off?
Now I'll grant you most people in this world know what it's like to have days off. I am not one of those people. I have the considerable joy of working way more often than not. Don't you wish you were me?
So as I'm leaving my friends drunken, smelly saturday night get together last night another one of my friends decideds that he want's to say goodbye. A sweet gesture you may be thinking. . . . no, not so much. Most people I know are ok with a man hug, as am I, but this friend is bisexual and wants just a bit more than a hug. The wrestling match ensues, and this kid is much larger than me. Now at this point I'm fighting for my life, or ass if you will, and thankfully he's fall over drunk. Finally after a few minutes of our back and forth he decides that he's gonna settle for a "man hug", I'm not sure how manly it really was though. As his drunk ass get's distracted by some noise in the other room I make my break. As I'm bounding down the stairs to my car and freedom I start to feel good about having saved myself from buttsecks. It was moments to soon, he was swiftly on my tail. The drunken encounter continues, and with promises that he'll call me when he wakes up, and is going to blow off both his girlfriend and his boyfriend to go hiking with my in the morning I make good my escape.
Fast forward to this morning. I wake up with all the intention in the world of hiking to some tall peak on our grand Rocky Mountains, that just so happen to be my back yard. Now I know that a lot of people would just sit back and relax on a day off, but that's just not my style. I like to beat myself up, or so it may seem. Well I start the morning off with the usual morning piss. All seems to be going according to plan, other than that fact that it's about seven in the morning and I wanted to sleep in just a wee bit longer. Well, seconds into my piss things go horribly wrong. I don't know if it was because I was half asleep, or I'm just retarded but I'm spraying everything in sight like it's Rambo 3 going on in my bathroom. At this point I decide that I'm just gonna go back to bed for a bit and see if I can somehow start the day over again. A great idea if you ask me.
So I grogily roll over and realize that it really is time to face the day, and get ready for a hike. Now I don't know if you've ever had a problem with headaches, but I do and it's miserable. This was going to be one of those mornings where my head has decided that it's not ready to face the day. Pain killers won't do the trick, they never do. The only thing that takes care of my raging head?, more sleep. This is because my headaches are mostly caused by my insomnia. So I sleep. . . . again.
My day actually starts at noon. To late for hiking, but to early to just consider the day done. So I decide that I'm gonna go find a charger for my old school digital camera. I drag my ass out of bed, and do all the things that have to be done to get "ready" for the day. I drive down to good old Radio Shack and buy myself what the gentleman assures me is a universal battery charger, and is even nice enough to show me which piece is supposed to fit my battery. I get home and plug in said device and swifty see there is now way in satan's butthole that my battery is fiting in the adapter that he pointed out. Time for some good old fashioned rigging. With a little bit of luck and ingenuity, my $30 purchase "works".
My work is done for the day, time to get ready to face a week of work. JOY!!!
So as I'm leaving my friends drunken, smelly saturday night get together last night another one of my friends decideds that he want's to say goodbye. A sweet gesture you may be thinking. . . . no, not so much. Most people I know are ok with a man hug, as am I, but this friend is bisexual and wants just a bit more than a hug. The wrestling match ensues, and this kid is much larger than me. Now at this point I'm fighting for my life, or ass if you will, and thankfully he's fall over drunk. Finally after a few minutes of our back and forth he decides that he's gonna settle for a "man hug", I'm not sure how manly it really was though. As his drunk ass get's distracted by some noise in the other room I make my break. As I'm bounding down the stairs to my car and freedom I start to feel good about having saved myself from buttsecks. It was moments to soon, he was swiftly on my tail. The drunken encounter continues, and with promises that he'll call me when he wakes up, and is going to blow off both his girlfriend and his boyfriend to go hiking with my in the morning I make good my escape.
Fast forward to this morning. I wake up with all the intention in the world of hiking to some tall peak on our grand Rocky Mountains, that just so happen to be my back yard. Now I know that a lot of people would just sit back and relax on a day off, but that's just not my style. I like to beat myself up, or so it may seem. Well I start the morning off with the usual morning piss. All seems to be going according to plan, other than that fact that it's about seven in the morning and I wanted to sleep in just a wee bit longer. Well, seconds into my piss things go horribly wrong. I don't know if it was because I was half asleep, or I'm just retarded but I'm spraying everything in sight like it's Rambo 3 going on in my bathroom. At this point I decide that I'm just gonna go back to bed for a bit and see if I can somehow start the day over again. A great idea if you ask me.
So I grogily roll over and realize that it really is time to face the day, and get ready for a hike. Now I don't know if you've ever had a problem with headaches, but I do and it's miserable. This was going to be one of those mornings where my head has decided that it's not ready to face the day. Pain killers won't do the trick, they never do. The only thing that takes care of my raging head?, more sleep. This is because my headaches are mostly caused by my insomnia. So I sleep. . . . again.
My day actually starts at noon. To late for hiking, but to early to just consider the day done. So I decide that I'm gonna go find a charger for my old school digital camera. I drag my ass out of bed, and do all the things that have to be done to get "ready" for the day. I drive down to good old Radio Shack and buy myself what the gentleman assures me is a universal battery charger, and is even nice enough to show me which piece is supposed to fit my battery. I get home and plug in said device and swifty see there is now way in satan's butthole that my battery is fiting in the adapter that he pointed out. Time for some good old fashioned rigging. With a little bit of luck and ingenuity, my $30 purchase "works".
My work is done for the day, time to get ready to face a week of work. JOY!!!
posted by Erich Tabert at 7:54 PM
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