Fame and Fortune!

This week marks a momentus occasion for my "little" city. The Giants from Real Madrid have come to beat up on my bottom of the league MLS team. For those that know anything at all about soccer this is possibly a once in a lifetime opportunity. I of course plan on taking complete advantage of it. I mean how often do you get the oportunity to heckle the biggest names in soccer? I dare say for most of us, never.

I start by heading out to the practice session they had today that was open to the public. I get there fashionable late, because I'm cool like that. Yeah, and if you believe that you'll also believe that I'm gay. Back on topic here. I actually had to make a delivery for work early in the morning, and if you compile that with the crazy drunk mess of a night I had, it was all bound to add up to a late arrival.

I was in a particulary good mood this morning for god only knows what reason, but it was kinda nice for a change! I get there and the manager I work with has scored us prime real estate with a second row seat. The trash talking starts almost immediatly. Most people are there to get a look at David Beckham, I'm not. I think he basically sucks now, and am not afraid to voice that opinion. Taunts of Puss Spice were thrown from my lips along with other derogitory words, much to the changrin of those around me. Sean, manager dude, can't help but laugh at the crap spewing forth from my mouth, but the guy in-front-of us is wondering if maybe he should trade us seats. I'm not gonna go into all the stuff I was saying, but trust me when I say that I had this dude in front laughing histarically on the one hand, and praying none of the players would actually hear me on the other.

Now there's this Italian player, Canivaro, that just joined Real from The Cheaters, formarly known as Juventus. He's not training with the team, and it's pretty safe to assume that he's injured. Well, he makes laps around the field, and runs by us "fans" quite a few times. The first time as he passes the crowd goes wild yelling and screaming to him, but he acts like nothing at all has happened. Another lap, another time we're all ignored. At this point I've had it. I don't really like Italian players as it is, but I CAN'T STAND a player that is going to ignore his fans like that. It's time to take action against this clown and force him to acknoweldge us, even if it is for the wrong reason. Third lap, Sean and I yell for him to wave. Fourth lap, I let fly the BOOOOOs. Final lap, he gets around to us and slows down and starts to walk across the field towards the rest of team. I yell out, "Don't worry it's OK to wave!!!". A ever so slight grin crosses his face, and he gives me a sly little thumbs up. Victory for the little guy.

Then the real fun begins. Down from the lofty hights of the press box, and the "special" side of the stadium come the camera guys. The news is about to interview it's eagar fans!! The kids behind me get super excited when the Channel 2 news dude stops and asks them if they are big soccer fans, the guy in-front-of me gets a look of dread on his face as they ask me the same question. As the interview is going on behind me and the kids and mom are doing their best to answer his generic questions, I can see a look of aprehension on the mans face as he realizes that the smart mouth is about to get face time on the local television. hehe I decide that I'm gonna be nice. "Don't worry, I won't say anything offensive. I'll keep it straight, just for you. No embarrasment today." With a sigh of relief from him, and a tinge of regret from me the interview begins. I spew the answers that I know he wants to hear, and manage to keep to myself the answers that I'm thinking. I can't even tell you how hard that was. I thought I was going to explode! The news dude moves on to interview a few other people, and I figure there's about a snow ball's chance in Phoenix of me making the final cut.

Nothing more happens, and we get to watch the training session in peace. I end up waiting around for the bosses wife to show so I can give her these tickets to a private autograph session with the players. I'd have given both nuts to go to that. Did the boss ask if myself or Shaun wanted to go? No. Did he give all three of his passes to his wife who doesn't know anything about soccer, his daughter that doesn't even really like soccer and his brother in law that doesn't either? Yes. All this adds up to a frustrated Erich, and nobody likes a frustrated Erich. It only serves to make my smart mouth more so. I just wish I could have unleashed it on them. Damn. Time to go to work.

Zzzzt. . . . Zzzzt

I grab my phone and flip it open. It's a text from my ex. "I was just watching the new, and this super hot guy comes on! Wait, it was you!" I get this rather dumbfounded expression on my face, and then the stupid grin hits me.

Five seconds of fame. How are those snow balls in Phoenix by the way? ;)