First Kisses

It's night and it's just about the new year. The show on the boob toob is terrible, but that's ok because the company is perfect. My girlfriend of three month and I are spending the new year with eachother, and I'm wondering why she keeps giving me the eye. *you know what I'm talking about ladies*

She keeps tickling me doing her best to make some physical contact, and despite the fact that I HATE being tickled I"m ok with it. What guy doesn't like a little physical contact with the opposite sex? *gay people need not comment here* I get the feeling that she's doing her best, which honestly isn't very good, to hint that it's the time for the all important first kiss.

As the night drags on and the time to celebrate the new year looms closer, I realize that I don't want our first kiss to be based on a cheesy tradition. My mind is made up before the ball even considers dropping, and the verdict?. . . . . . . . I'm gonna hold out and really make her want it.

So the new year comes and goes, as does the look of expectation on her face. The time seems to be running like molases at this point as I do my very best to hold out. Finally my ability withhold my manly urges breaks and I make my move.

I move in and there's no question in her mind what my intentions are. I hold my breath with expection of all the things that come with a great first kiss. The rush, the exileration and the great feeling of locking lips with someone of the opposite sex. I think it all must have passed me by. The kiss ends up as more of a quick peck that is more like a meer blip on the face of the night that's not worth mentioning. My expectations could not have been more shattered. . . . . or so I thought. At that moment in time she decided to develop a smart mouth, and a quick wit and comes at me with "about time".

I dare say, worst first kiss ever.

Ever been scared? By a girl?

I'm working one day, and the day has been going rather well. Then she comes in to work for the afternoon.

I do my usual trick, and find something to do where she won't be. As I head to the back of the shop I pass by her in the office, and she is busy doing nothing probably, but I figure I'm safe since she didn't see my escape.

I'm organizing things in the back, ya know, moving boxes around and pretending to be busy. Well, after a while of doing this I run out of things to pretend to move, and the room is unfortunatly looking nicely organized.

I turn around to head out into the shop, and get back to doing actual work in the hopes that someone will have found something, anything for her to do. BLAM!!!!! HOLY SHIT!!!! There she is not 10 feet behind me staring at me!!! I've never been that scared in my entire life. I thought I was going to have a heart attack and die right there!

I didn't know what to say, I just looked at her for a second in confusion and panic. Then my senses took over and I put her to work getting some food for us working guys.

Who does that?

For those of you that don't know, the soccer store that I currently work at was also my place of employment from 2000-2003.

Now there's this girl that came into the shop, ohhhh lets say about a month ago. Now she used to come in a lot back when I worked at the shop before, but she was just a little to young to hit on if you get what I mean. So when I see her come in, I'm to shocked to take advantage of the situation. She leaves, and as always with women, I'm left felling like a moron.

I head up to this soccer tournament that is going on in Park City to watch a bunch of people I know play, and as I am heading to my car from the main fields to where my friends are playing I run into a guy that plays for a team that my team plays against all the time. Apparently his team is gonna be short players for their game that moring, and he want's me to play. With a few moments of consideration, I decide that playing soccer is much better than watching it. Besides, I had all the gear in the back of the car, it may as well not go to waste.

Well, after the game guess who's playing next? Yeah, the girl. She comes over and says hi real quick before she plays, and at this point I'm wondering how my luck can possibly be this good. I hang around and we talk after the game, and I even end up meeting her mom, who happens to be there watching. You would think at this point I would do something manly and ask her out, yeah who are you kiddin? I don't know if I was being a puss, or the thought didn't even cross my mind, but for the second time running I didn't do anything. Damn

Well I got to thinking the next day, and a half brained plot was formed. After having run it across a few of my good friends I decide that the plan shall be implememnted. What is the plan you may ask? I'll lay it out for you, and I'll explain my reasoning after.

I know her name obviously, and I also happen to know where she works. I decide to send her a package at work. In this package is a phone and a note. The note said the following: "I didn't ask you out the other day or get your number, I'd like to fix that. Call the number on the included phone."

Now you may be saying that I'm just being a wuss, and that I should have just gone down there or perhaps called. I personally beg to differ. I don't have the time to just go over there, if you'll remember I work more or less all the time. And just calling her seemed rather bland. I as always decided on the more "interresting" route.

Did it work? Was it a miserable failure? I'll let you be the judge of that. This was her response: "Hi Erich :) im at work or id call. this is the most creative thing a guys done for me! unfortunatly im in a rel. ur a great guy tho and id love to get to know u." I like to call it the most succesful failure ever.

A day off?

Now I'll grant you most people in this world know what it's like to have days off. I am not one of those people. I have the considerable joy of working way more often than not. Don't you wish you were me?

So as I'm leaving my friends drunken, smelly saturday night get together last night another one of my friends decideds that he want's to say goodbye. A sweet gesture you may be thinking. . . . no, not so much. Most people I know are ok with a man hug, as am I, but this friend is bisexual and wants just a bit more than a hug. The wrestling match ensues, and this kid is much larger than me. Now at this point I'm fighting for my life, or ass if you will, and thankfully he's fall over drunk. Finally after a few minutes of our back and forth he decides that he's gonna settle for a "man hug", I'm not sure how manly it really was though. As his drunk ass get's distracted by some noise in the other room I make my break. As I'm bounding down the stairs to my car and freedom I start to feel good about having saved myself from buttsecks. It was moments to soon, he was swiftly on my tail. The drunken encounter continues, and with promises that he'll call me when he wakes up, and is going to blow off both his girlfriend and his boyfriend to go hiking with my in the morning I make good my escape.

Fast forward to this morning. I wake up with all the intention in the world of hiking to some tall peak on our grand Rocky Mountains, that just so happen to be my back yard. Now I know that a lot of people would just sit back and relax on a day off, but that's just not my style. I like to beat myself up, or so it may seem. Well I start the morning off with the usual morning piss. All seems to be going according to plan, other than that fact that it's about seven in the morning and I wanted to sleep in just a wee bit longer. Well, seconds into my piss things go horribly wrong. I don't know if it was because I was half asleep, or I'm just retarded but I'm spraying everything in sight like it's Rambo 3 going on in my bathroom. At this point I decide that I'm just gonna go back to bed for a bit and see if I can somehow start the day over again. A great idea if you ask me.

So I grogily roll over and realize that it really is time to face the day, and get ready for a hike. Now I don't know if you've ever had a problem with headaches, but I do and it's miserable. This was going to be one of those mornings where my head has decided that it's not ready to face the day. Pain killers won't do the trick, they never do. The only thing that takes care of my raging head?, more sleep. This is because my headaches are mostly caused by my insomnia. So I sleep. . . . again.

My day actually starts at noon. To late for hiking, but to early to just consider the day done. So I decide that I'm gonna go find a charger for my old school digital camera. I drag my ass out of bed, and do all the things that have to be done to get "ready" for the day. I drive down to good old Radio Shack and buy myself what the gentleman assures me is a universal battery charger, and is even nice enough to show me which piece is supposed to fit my battery. I get home and plug in said device and swifty see there is now way in satan's butthole that my battery is fiting in the adapter that he pointed out. Time for some good old fashioned rigging. With a little bit of luck and ingenuity, my $30 purchase "works".

My work is done for the day, time to get ready to face a week of work. JOY!!!